I'm Totally Gay for America

But who isn't?

World of Wonder: A Thrilla' in Manilla

This is freaking amazing: Approximately 1,500 Filipino prisoners in orange jump suits re-enact the zombie dance from Michael Jackson's Thriller video. Points for not stabbing each other during rehearsals. Bonus points for the balding tranny as the "girlfriend in jeopardy."


Hat tip: Defamer.

College Republicans: The Future of Ambivalent Sexuality

Max Blumenthal has a not-necessarily-enlightening video on HuffingtonPost detailing his infiltration of a College Republican conference in DC. The kids, of course, hang themselves on their own blind idiocy. Blumenthal, of course, makes a scene and gets thrown out. And crimes against logic rule the day.

However, there are three moments of sheer lunacy so utterly amazing and downright sad scary hilarious that it's worth sitting through the rest of the Michael Moore-isms.

In the first, old standby Tom Delay hits two liberal birds with one sharp conservative stone:

I content [abortion] affects you in immigration. If we had those 40 million children that were killed over the last 40 years we wouldn't need illegal immigrants to fill those jobs...Think about it.

In second, some poor misguided kid says the he wouldn't enlist because he might become "like a really good speaker and stuff like that." (Too many jokes. Brain about to explode.)

Finally, the same really good public speaker discusses conservatives' ongoing problems with gays--by first grudgingly admitting that we are citizens, and then by going off on a wild, probably unintential aside:

Everybody in their life has had [pause] inclinations [long pause] toward the [very long pause] um, same sex.

You can almost hear the disco in his panicked, twitchy speech. And it only gets worse. And my worse, I mean excellent.

Don't Believe Anything You See

For the low, low price of $10,000, Jezebel.com was able to get hold of an un-retouched photograph of Faith Hill that was--not surprisingly--modified before it appeared on the July Redbook cover. What was surprising: How heavily and needlessly extravagant the Photoshopping was.

Everyone knows about line smoothing and eye brightening. But moving hands, reducing an arm's width by half, reshaping someone's entire head?

Jezebel gets to the heart of the matter. And hilariously, too. Key quote:

3. THOSE CHEEKS: What exactly do you think she's hoarding in there? Snacks to get her through Ramadan? And boy could bitch take a little time out on that deviated septum...

Chim Chim's Revenge

Defamer is always funny, but every single line in today's report of a chimpanzee attack on the set of Speed Racer had me clutching the pearls. In a good way. Key quote:

The 15 milligrams of injectable "rest" administered to the ornery chimp proved so successful, producers ultimately decided to give the newly docile actor a second chance. It's a decision they may wind up regretting, should horrified crew members find themselves fishing Spritle's mangled body from the Mach Five's trunk, only to discover a blood-drench Chim-Chim emerging from the shadows a moment later, delivering a dead-eyed stare that all but gloats, "The bite was your warning, humans. Spritle didn't have to die."

A Long Time Ago, Indeed

Marvel to the wonderful musical stylings of The Borden Family, a swell gang of Canadians whose 1980 album Good Times sounds like the Charlie's Angels band playing drunk at the airport Holiday Inn. And that a good thing. From the liner notes:

"GOOD TIMES...with a variety of good music (from Polkas & Waltzes to Rock & Roll) have been the key to the success of the "BORDENS", a versatile family dance band..."

Here's their version of the Theme From Star Wars. Where's my mai tai? Gotta light?

Hat tip: Boing Boing.

The Cuddly Menace

While reviewing old IE bookmarks and letting fate take me where it will, I found this: A remix of a kids' book--My Little Golden Book About God--with a Scientology-worthy tale of invasion and control. Or as the author tells it

...a primer for the parasitic offspring of an invisible invasion! For the safety of our race (if any still remain) I have translated this book in the hopes that a resistance may arise. Read the baby powder scented Final Solution of our enemies from beyond...

This Never Gets Old

If Microsoft designed the iPod. Be sure the sound is turned on, for full snark.