Up, Up and Away

While in Turkey, the husband and tried to take advantage of every opportunity for fun and adventure. For example, we woke up at 4 AM to take a hot air balloon ride over the desolate moonscape of Cappadocia. The baskets were packed tight with chilly tourists. The balloons flew over 2,000 over the rocky terrain. And yet, the ride was still not as scary as the standard Turkish truckstop buffet.

Duh.

(Forgive the crummy resolution and color timing. I took these shots using my digital camera and put it together with MS Movie Magic. Oh, the music is "Dungeoneering" by Tim Hecker. He's awesome!)

World of Wonder: A Thrilla' in Manilla

This is freaking amazing: Approximately 1,500 Filipino prisoners in orange jump suits re-enact the zombie dance from Michael Jackson's Thriller video. Points for not stabbing each other during rehearsals. Bonus points for the balding tranny as the "girlfriend in jeopardy."


Hat tip: Defamer.

Photoshoplifting

Another Photoshop scandal in the works. And another reason not to believe anything you see. Hat tip: BuzzFeed.

You Are What You Eat (Dumplings)

Last night I watched one of the most disgusting and stomach churning movie I've ever seen. Dumplings, one of the so-called "Asia Extreme" movies that have been getting a lot of recent attention here in the States, is stunning to look at and has an enjoyably campy and operatic plot.

But director Fruit Chan really doesn't know when to stop. The plot? From IMDB.com:

To remain beautiful and young, a woman embarks in a sick and disgusting [quest] for a repugnant menu.

Unlike recent "torture porn" flicks that also push the boundaries of violence and gore, Dumplings doesn't implicate the viewer in the action--fortunately. You might lose your lunch anyway.

Top Ten Japanese Gay Salaryman Porn Titles

These were taken from a Japanese gay "salaryman" porn video site, and are 100% guaranteed true.

I was laughing so hard I could barely finish my order.

10. Nonconsultation Day
09. One Night Standing
08. Bald & Dauntless
07. Uncontrolled Fruits
06. Spout ! Business Man
05. Triangular Sex Struggle
04. Pork Buns
03. Miserable Chubby Guy
02. Hankering for Cock

And the #1 Japanese gay salaryman porn video title is ... Full of Ass

PostSecret Asshole

I've read a lot of sad, creepy, and heartbreakings posts on PostSecret, but this is the only one that's made me physically sick.

Someone seriously needs to have his or her ass whipped.

A Long Time Ago, Indeed

Marvel to the wonderful musical stylings of The Borden Family, a swell gang of Canadians whose 1980 album Good Times sounds like the Charlie's Angels band playing drunk at the airport Holiday Inn. And that a good thing. From the liner notes:

"GOOD TIMES...with a variety of good music (from Polkas & Waltzes to Rock & Roll) have been the key to the success of the "BORDENS", a versatile family dance band..."

Here's their version of the Theme From Star Wars. Where's my mai tai? Gotta light?

Hat tip: Boing Boing.

The Cuddly Menace

While reviewing old IE bookmarks and letting fate take me where it will, I found this: A remix of a kids' book--My Little Golden Book About God--with a Scientology-worthy tale of invasion and control. Or as the author tells it

...a primer for the parasitic offspring of an invisible invasion! For the safety of our race (if any still remain) I have translated this book in the hopes that a resistance may arise. Read the baby powder scented Final Solution of our enemies from beyond...

Simian vs. Justice

While I'm still obsessing about the Justice song/video for D.A.N.C.E. A co-worker mentioned this Justice remix to me. The verdict: Whoa. The song has its charms, but the video veers sharply into Huh? territory. What happens after the best party ever? A landslide of trash and hungover French dudes.

File Under: Hell No!

The craziest job you never knew existed, and will have nightmares about tonight. Hat tip: The Cunning Realist.

glumbert.com - High Power Job

Pentagon Wanted to Build "Gay Bomb"

Hmmmmm.

This joke pretty much writes itself. Still, keep this in your memory banks the next time some numbskull derides the "excessive" spending of the Democrats.

Read more about your tax dollars at work here.

This Cat Is a Better Photographer Than I

Mr. Lee, a cat of German descent, has his own camera and takes smashing photos of his day-to-day life. Why, you may ask. Or, perhaps, how. Here's what his owner says:

I thought about our cat who is the whole day out, returning sometimes hungry sometimes not, sometimes with traces of fights, sometimes he stay also the night out. When he finally returns, I wonder where he was and what he did during his day. This brought me to the idea to equip the cat with a camera.

Of course.

The Ultimate Dynasty Catfight...in French

What the Hell Is a "lolcat"?

That would be: Laugh Out Loud Cat.

Sometimes I think I get this whole internet-y thing. I've been working on it for more than 10 years, so I should know something, right? Then I hear about LolCats, scratch my head, and think "WTF?"

So what is a lolcat? A cute picture of a cat or other pet, with a humorous caption, written in some weird pidgeon English. And here's a shocking tidbit for you. The lolcat site I Can Has Cheezburger accounts for one-third of the Wordpress blogging bandwidth.

WTF?

Laugh out loud here.

Conservatives Want the Terrorists to Win

From AP:

Lawmakers who say the military has kicked out 58 Arabic language experts because they were gay want the Pentagon to explain how it can afford to let the valuable specialists go.

Seems to me: Bigots = Traitors.

Kreepie Kats

Gawker is a cornucopia of delights, none more delightful than the Kreepie Kats cartoon. Vulgar and hard to explain--I think that sums it up. If you want to know what this week's comic is about, take a look at this Village Voice story.

"It's a Little Monster Man!"

I'm a sucker for practical jokes that scare people. This little gem from an old episode of Scare Tactics makes me laugh just thinking about it. YouTube is genius.

Saving Aimee. Or Not.

Went with the usual suspects to see Saving Aimee at Signature tonight. This musical about the original superstar evangelist, Aimee Semple McPherson, was written by--hold me back--Kathy Lee Gifford. There are so many things wrong with this situation, I don't even know where to start. Simplistic, insulting, repetitive, and loud, Aimee was nonetheless exceptionally well produced, as one would expect of Signature. But ultimately, it's like hiring Martin Scorcese to make the Family Circus movie. Sigh.

Lawrence Welk vs the Velvet Underground

Kirk Cameron Proves God Exists

The usually unreadable Slate digs deep.

[T]he God Squad had but three arguments on behalf of the big guy: All things have makers; the human conscience is evidence of a higher moral power; if you read the Gospel, then Christ will be revealed to you. For reasons too stupid to type, this was not an airtight case, and the atheists made quick work of it in tones of juvenile sarcasm.

Now let's pray for Passion of Tina Yothers?