Best Comic Book Convention...Ever

Tony and I spent Saturday morning trolling the booths at the SPX, the small press expo, somewhere in the hinterlands of Maryland. I've never thought of myself as a "comic book guy." Shameless fanboy, perhaps. But comic books--while I understood how cool they could be--never really created any passion in me. This show changed my mind.

The floor was small but crowded. Almost every booth had a pile of objects to look through. Many were handmade or one-of-a-kind. Styles ranged from exquisite hand painted abstracts, to postmodern pen-and-ink cartoons. The artists were super friendly and everyone had a great story. (And by "great" I mean funny, weird, inspirational, and/or insane.)

I bought an autobiographical book called Shirtlifter from a supremely hot bear artist named Steve MacIsaac. He said it was more "artistic-y than pornographic-y." Having cruised through it last night, I guess he's correct. But it still plenty pornographic-y for me. I'm not sure I get the point of the whole thing, but I think that's commonplace among the small press people: Hold a magnifying glass up to the most arcane, commonplace, or otherwise invisible speck of reality (or surreality) and let it speak for itself.

On the way out, I bought a silkscreen of 16 little line drawings of the same dumpy little man in various states of dress.

I'll let that speak for itself, too.

It's Time for You to Lose Your Excitement

This Larry Craig folderol has me asking the question: Are straight people ever going to get their shit together when it comes to sex? I''m being serious here. Straights may be the dominant culture, but it's obvious that--when it comes to the Big Nasty--they are as clueless as children.

It was nothing short of embarrassing watching the smirking, giggling newsreaders on cable try to get their arms around the reality that a man could marry a woman and still have sex with men. I mean, they seriously didn't know this happened? Has happened for all of history? Is happening? Sheesh.

I've personally known many married men who also fuck around with guys, and each of their situations was different. Some were cheating from deep inside the closet. Some claimed to be straight. Some were gay, but married because they wanted a "normal" public life. Some had arrangements with their wives. And while I certainly have opinions about their choices, I never made fun of them or even judge them harshly. Why? Because their lives, like my own, were messy and real.

And how about the serious--or at least professed--puzzlement about a fetishes such as anonymous sex or tearoom trade? I find it hard to believe that people in show buisness are more square and more naive than I. Seriously, the only thing that outpaced the ignorance was the squeamishness.

Embarrassing. Unbelievable.

To be clear, I have nothing but disdain for Larry Craig the politician and the immoral, hateful, and unrealistic policies that he and his party supports. But Larry Craig the man gets my sympathy. The snickering jackdaws that have made his life a living hell over the last few weeks have done nothing to illuminate the situation.

And no one has asked the most obvious question: Why are we behaving like immature assholes? Answer that, and you may know why a 60-somethinig Midwestern politician had to go into a men's room to get a blow job.

All my life, people have asked me if I'd ever wanted to be straight. My answer has always and emphatically been "no." There are many reasons. The last two weeks has highlighted one: Gay men understand sex. We know how it fits into life. We get that it's simultaneously important and frivolous. We embrace--however reluctantly--its messiness, its complications, its contradictions.

We are adults about it.

Finally, before you call me a bigot, I realize I'm making some generalizations. I mean, some of my best friends are straight.

Tucker Carlson: Blowhard or Gay Basher?

Let me rephrase that as "and Gay Basher," since Tucker's been blowing hard for decades. If you've missed this ongoing story, here goes.

In an MSNBC Live interview, Tucker, in a lame-assed attempt to demonstrate his manliness, claimed to have "bashed" a gay man in a men's room for coming on to him. Transcript below.

ABRAMS: Tucker, what did you do, by the way? What did you do when he did
that? We got to know.
CARLSON: I went back with someone I knew and grabbed the guy by the -- you
know, and grabbed him, and -- and --
ABRAMS: And did what?
CARLSON: Hit him against the stall with his head, actually!
[laughter]
CARLSON: And then the cops came and arrested him. But let me say that I'm
the least anti-gay right-winger you'll ever meet --

Note the laughter--not just from Tucker, but from Dan Abrams and Joe Scarborough, as well.

Verdict: Tucker's either 1) laying it on thick to increase his frat boy credentials; or 2) a criminal. Just to be safe, I'd go with 3) an asshat without a shred of credibility.

And if you want to see another conservative go down in flames, here's the video:

Beer + Rugby = Something Totally NSFW

Here are some clips from a documentary on British ruggers getting drunk, stripping in pubs, and clearly defining the term homoerotic.

While the action itself is quite nice and nothing I'd complain about, the truly amazing part of the video is the end, where the young men--now sober--watch a tape of themselves, um, performing. They seem to be neither embarrassed nor ashamed. If anything, they seem happy about it. Even celebratory.

Makes me want to play a little ball, myself.

Hat tip: Daily Dish.

College Republicans: The Future of Ambivalent Sexuality

Max Blumenthal has a not-necessarily-enlightening video on HuffingtonPost detailing his infiltration of a College Republican conference in DC. The kids, of course, hang themselves on their own blind idiocy. Blumenthal, of course, makes a scene and gets thrown out. And crimes against logic rule the day.

However, there are three moments of sheer lunacy so utterly amazing and downright sad scary hilarious that it's worth sitting through the rest of the Michael Moore-isms.

In the first, old standby Tom Delay hits two liberal birds with one sharp conservative stone:

I content [abortion] affects you in immigration. If we had those 40 million children that were killed over the last 40 years we wouldn't need illegal immigrants to fill those jobs...Think about it.

In second, some poor misguided kid says the he wouldn't enlist because he might become "like a really good speaker and stuff like that." (Too many jokes. Brain about to explode.)

Finally, the same really good public speaker discusses conservatives' ongoing problems with gays--by first grudgingly admitting that we are citizens, and then by going off on a wild, probably unintential aside:

Everybody in their life has had [pause] inclinations [long pause] toward the [very long pause] um, same sex.

You can almost hear the disco in his panicked, twitchy speech. And it only gets worse. And my worse, I mean excellent.

Back of the Bin: Homosapien

I'm the shy boy/You're the coy boy/And you know we're/Homosapien, too.

Beardy Goodness

Just finished watching one of VH1's catalog shows. This one listed the best/worst softrock songs of all time. Now, I could write for hours about the dumb irony of "so bad it's good" hipsterism, or the emptiness of creating any kind of dichotomy between "high" and "low" art. But what completely captivated me was all the hairy, bearded, groovy guys this show highlighted. Whether it was the guys from Orleans (Still the One, indeed) or Rupert Holmes (remember the Pina Colado Song?), it pulled me right back into the 70s, at the exact moment when my brain was ready to be imprinted with the concept of Hot Guy. All I need now is a Camero, a fu manchu stache, and tight flares. Grrrrrr.

BTW, one of the commenters for this particular VH1 show was JD Ryznar, one of the writers/actors on Acceptable TV. He and several of his peers on Acceptable TV are equally beardy and slobby, in that almost-trying-too-hard hipster way. The show is just passable. The men are hairy nerds. Again, grrrr.

Are You Gay? Take the Little Britain Test

Massachusetts Is (Still) for Lovers

Marriage is still on the books in Massachusetts. Andrew Sullivan says it best:

Looking back on two decades of struggle, past the ashes of so many, to the clearing on which we now stand, it's hard not to weep. Two decades ago, marriage for gays was a pipe-dream. Some of us were ridiculed for even thinking of the idea. And yet here we are. Past the vicious attack from the president, past the cynical manipulation by Rove, past the cowardice of so many Democrats, past the rank hypocrisy of the Clintons, past the inertia of the Human Rights Campaign, past the false dawn in San Francisco, and the countless, countless debates and speeches and books and articles and op-eds.

Pride 2007

This last weekend was Pride. And I was out in the streets, as always. I missed the parade for the first time in years. Volunteered at my job's booth on Sunday, ate a crab cake, and watched the men walk around. Delicious, all the way 'round.

A few observations:

The death of gay culture! There are always average looking gay folk at Pride, and have been for the 25 years I've attended. But this year was exceptional. The gym bunnies, club kids, and body fascists must be hibernating.

The death of gay culture? Freedom plaza was packed. Every year, Pride seems to get bigger and bigger. While the proliferation of mainstream corporate booths told the assimilation story, the fact that we still feel the need congregate in celebration adds the footnote.

The death of gay culture :( I only saw two drag queens and two leather men. Sad. I'm all for assimilation, but bitches and buttless chaps are nice, too. Just saying.

Pentagon Wanted to Build "Gay Bomb"

Hmmmmm.

This joke pretty much writes itself. Still, keep this in your memory banks the next time some numbskull derides the "excessive" spending of the Democrats.

Read more about your tax dollars at work here.

Kill eHarmony

I hate those eHarmony commercials so much, I'm willing to break my leg running for the mute button. Not only it is a Christian fundamentalist dating site--which sends shivers up my spine--but they actually ban gay people. And without even being honest about their bigotry. Here's a nice tonic.

Here He Comes

My second earliest gay memory happened when I was six. I loved Speed Racer. No, not that kind of love. I just really, really dug the show. I mean, what six-year-old doesn't want a car that can chop down trees and has a monkey in the trunk.? Plus, it's really easy to act out old-style anime. You only have to move one frame every couple of seconds or so. Easy!

But if Speed ruled, Racer X rocked. Tall, dark, handsome. Mysteriously edgey. Maybe even a bad guy. But, as the Shangri La's sang, he's good bad, but he's not evil. So, the whole gay thing: I remember one afternoon watching the cartoon like I always did. Racer X came on, so I naturally paid more attention. Then--and I'm smiling as I type this--he got into a glass-doored shower for a Brian DePalma steam special.

It was years before I had a name for what happened to me next.

There was never another moment like that in the entire series. I know. I looked. Now I've learned that those wacky Hollywood Wachowskis are putting together a live action Speed Racer movie. Insert gear shift joke here. Ahem.

Gay Assimilation: Good or Bad? Discuss

The news from Russia certainly makes me rethink my longing for the good old days of the gay subculture. It's easy to forget how bad it was, even as one remembers the parts that were engergizing and fun.

Don't get me wrong. I've always thought of myself as assimilated, even when it wasn't true. And even to the point of getting ultra-lefty activists pissed at my desire for ordinariness. But I always had the subculture to fall back on if things got too safe.

That's why Little Britain's Daffyd Thomas is a brilliant tonic. As "the only gay in the village", he reminds us that there is a certain comfort and stability to be found in victimhood. But enjoying it is very limiting--and only possible when you're not actually being beaten.

Religion + Skinheads = Idiots

Nationalist and pro-fascist thugs (with help from militant Orthodox Christians) attacked and beat peaceful gay rights protesters in Moscow yesterday. Who do the police arrest? The gay demonstrators, of course. In front of the office of the mayor, who last year called gays "satanic". Personally, I think that any coalition that includes Orthodox priests, skinheads, and the elderly is pretty fucking satanic. Perhaps now we can put to rest thoughts that Russia can join civilized nations at the same table.

The Ultimate Dynasty Catfight...in French

Conservatives Want the Terrorists to Win

From AP:

Lawmakers who say the military has kicked out 58 Arabic language experts because they were gay want the Pentagon to explain how it can afford to let the valuable specialists go.

Seems to me: Bigots = Traitors.

i am the "funky type of gay guy"

"Everywhere you go, you know what you're doing and people can't stop to take notice. You're into what's groovy and different."

Who knew?

I just took the test over at Quizilla. It may be true. But how accurate can it be when the quiz-master mispells an important word like "heinous"?

Anyway, you, too, can take the test.